My Misconception of Kurt Brecht

[Bret Walker]

I have labeled myself as the "Fattest punk-rock frontman since Kurt Brecht." I'm a big DRI fan, although I've never seen them in concert. And the only really good picture of the band was a group shot on the back of the Dealing With It album. There were four guys, and the guy who was in the foreground was a portly chap that I figured was Kurt Brecht, the frontman. Makes sense, right?

So then Jusitin asked me about that reference, and we went to the DRI website, and every picture of Kurt showed a skinny little guy. Not an ounce of fat on him. I'm like, what the fuck?

Well I figured it out a week or so ago. The guy who I had thought was Kurt was in fact Josh Pappè, the bass player. And yes, he was chunky. But I think what clinched the deal for me, confusion wise, was a photograph I saw in a Circus magazine when I was a kid, in which Kurt Brecht was sitting on Billy Milano's, the lead singer for SOD, shoulders. The caption below the picture said simply "Kurt and Billy." Well, since I already thought that Kurt was the fat one, I thought that Billy was Kurt. Because Billy Milano, you see, is pretty chunky himself. And goddamnit, that makes a lot of sense, because a lot of my friends said I looked like Billy Milano. So I'm thinking of the image of Kurt and going, "You're nuts. I look more like Kurt Brecht," still thinking that Billy was Kurt.

So I'm finally clear on all this information. If I'd ever seen DRI or SOD live even once, I never would have been so confused. But from now on I am calling myself "The fattest punk rock frontman since Billy Milano." Judge for yourself:


Billy Milano


Bret Walker

And now that that's all cleared up, I'd like to apologize to Kurt Brecht for calling him fat.

[jelly belly girl]

i gotcha babe.

[Lost]

That man could eat you.

[The Vonz]

What about the fat guy who played bass for NOFX?

[Bret Walker]

He's not a frontman is he? IS HE?

[JustinP]

Bret doesn't look like Fat Mike from Nofx.

---

And Fat Mike isn't even that big.

[The Vonz]

JustinP said:

Bret doesn't look like Fat Mike from Nofx.

---

And Fat Mike isn't even that big.

I said BASS PLAYER ASSHOLE. Fat Mike sings and plays rhythym guitar, yes?

The bass player is some big fat Mexican guy.

[JustinP]

Fat Mike Sings and plays bass El Hefe is the mexican guitar player ASSHOLE. I don't believe Bret looks mexican either. ASSHOLE Does he ASSHOLE? So before you post shit you don't know about, ASSHOLE, do your homework ASSHOLE Thats all for now ASSHOLE.

Love ASSHOLE

[Lost]

Justin , That has to have been the worst post to have ever hit the boards.



L word,
Lost

[The Vonz]

But he's fat, the point is not that he looks like him, it's that he's fat.

[Lost]

OutcastedMisfit said:

But he's fat, the point is not that he looks like him, it's that he's fat.

Who's fat?

[JustinP]

Lost said:

Justin , That has to have been the worst post to have ever hit the boards.



L word,
Lost

Thank you

[Lost]

Anytime.

[Bret Walker]

Justin is so great, I wish he was my pet dog so I could scratch him on his belly and make him kick his leg. ;D

And anyway, we're all missing the point. I didnt' say that I need to look like anyone, just that I'm the fattest FRONTMAN since Billy Milano, and Billy Milano is much fatter than Fat Mike. ASSHOLES.

PS: Frontman means the guy or gal who sings, or is generally in the front of the band. Geddy Lee, Lemmy, and Les Claypoole are all frontmen who play the bass. Maynard Keenan, Fred Durst, and Billy Milano are all frontmen who don't play anything. Billy Joe Armstrong, David Grohl, and Kurt Cobain are all frontmen who play the guitar. And Phil Collins and Don Henley are both frontmen who play the drums. The point is, I said I was the fattest FRONTMAN since Kurt Brecht, but that was erroneous. So I changed it to Billy Milano. I don't give a crap if I look like him or not, I just care that there's another fat guy who fronts a punk band. It makes my dick hard. So there!

And if Justin wants me to scratch his belly while he kicks his leg, I'll do it.

[Lost]

Do me next.