Post by Bret Walker on Oct 6, 2003 12:35:31 GMT -5
Yes, this morning I was hit with a flash of inspiration, and it's all to do with Monday.
Next May 4, I will be 35 years old, and that will make me old enough to run for President. And I think I'm going to run. And what will my platform be?
Five-day weekends.
Yessir, five-day weekends. That will be my main platform plank, and my only platform plank. I will not be sidetracked. Back in 1992, James Carville, then Bill Clinton's campaign advisor, kept Clinton on track by making him repeat to himself "It's the economy, stupid!" Hence, Clinton stayed on the topic of the Economy and defeated incumbent George H. W. Bush. Well in my case, it will be "It's five-day weekends, stupid!"
"Mr. Walker, what's your policy on the Middle East?" "Five-day weekends."
"Mr. Walker, what's your stance on homelessness?" "Five-day weekends."
"Mr. Walker, what's your plan for tackling the economic woes of the country?" "Five-day weekends."
Indeed, I will be like a broken record. But I will get votes. I talked to a few people today about my idea, and they all said they'd vote for me. I think the key is to make sure I only campaign on Mondays. One guy said he'd vote for me twice, and get all his buddies to vote for me. So how's that for a vote of confidence, so to speak?
Anyway, that's my campaign. A vote for Bret Walker is a vote for five-day weekends.
In addition, it should be really fun to see my opponents' faces when I heartily admit to all my past transgressions. Sure, boys, bring out my skeletons. "Mr. Walker, is it true that when you were in high school, your girlfriend got pregnant and she had an abortion?" "Yes it is! And that's when I started thinking about five-day weekends." "Mr. Walker, is it true that you have had a drug and alcohol problem?" "Oh yes, and that's why I think we need more five-day weekends!"
Frankly, I don't know why no one has ever thought of this before.
Next May 4, I will be 35 years old, and that will make me old enough to run for President. And I think I'm going to run. And what will my platform be?
Five-day weekends.
Yessir, five-day weekends. That will be my main platform plank, and my only platform plank. I will not be sidetracked. Back in 1992, James Carville, then Bill Clinton's campaign advisor, kept Clinton on track by making him repeat to himself "It's the economy, stupid!" Hence, Clinton stayed on the topic of the Economy and defeated incumbent George H. W. Bush. Well in my case, it will be "It's five-day weekends, stupid!"
"Mr. Walker, what's your policy on the Middle East?" "Five-day weekends."
"Mr. Walker, what's your stance on homelessness?" "Five-day weekends."
"Mr. Walker, what's your plan for tackling the economic woes of the country?" "Five-day weekends."
Indeed, I will be like a broken record. But I will get votes. I talked to a few people today about my idea, and they all said they'd vote for me. I think the key is to make sure I only campaign on Mondays. One guy said he'd vote for me twice, and get all his buddies to vote for me. So how's that for a vote of confidence, so to speak?
Anyway, that's my campaign. A vote for Bret Walker is a vote for five-day weekends.
In addition, it should be really fun to see my opponents' faces when I heartily admit to all my past transgressions. Sure, boys, bring out my skeletons. "Mr. Walker, is it true that when you were in high school, your girlfriend got pregnant and she had an abortion?" "Yes it is! And that's when I started thinking about five-day weekends." "Mr. Walker, is it true that you have had a drug and alcohol problem?" "Oh yes, and that's why I think we need more five-day weekends!"
Frankly, I don't know why no one has ever thought of this before.
