Post by Bret Walker on Feb 5, 2003 16:28:39 GMT -5
By Scott Adams
Death by Marketing
------------------
Did you ever wonder why fuel-efficient cars are always designed to
look like lunch boxes or deodorant cans? I'm no expert on car
design, but it seems to me that an attractive "shape" wouldn't cost
a manufacturer extra. So why are all the cars that are friendly to
the environment practically bristling with the subliminal message
"DORK ON BOARD"?
Answer: Marketing!
Carmakers want to discourage people from buying cars that have high
gas mileage and low profit margins. If you're foolish enough to
cross them and buy a planet-saver anyway, automakers are going to
exact some revenge by making sure you have no chance whatsoever of
procreating.
Normally I would applaud the spunky -- dare I say Dogbertian? --
attitude of the world's carmakers. But these aren't normal times.
There's a school of thought that if we use less fuel, we'll be
safer from terrorist threats.
I'm not convinced that oil is the problem. I'm pretty sure we could
fly over the Middle East and drop bags of money and they'd still
want to kill us for blocking the view. But I digress.
The point is that carmakers could easily make a fuel-efficient
hybrid car that looks great and doesn't cost more to manufacture
than an ugly one. However, thanks to marketing, that ain't gonna
happen.
And so, as I have often predicted, marketing will be the death of
us all. Our only hope is that our pollution kills the terrorists.
Death by Marketing
------------------
Did you ever wonder why fuel-efficient cars are always designed to
look like lunch boxes or deodorant cans? I'm no expert on car
design, but it seems to me that an attractive "shape" wouldn't cost
a manufacturer extra. So why are all the cars that are friendly to
the environment practically bristling with the subliminal message
"DORK ON BOARD"?
Answer: Marketing!
Carmakers want to discourage people from buying cars that have high
gas mileage and low profit margins. If you're foolish enough to
cross them and buy a planet-saver anyway, automakers are going to
exact some revenge by making sure you have no chance whatsoever of
procreating.
Normally I would applaud the spunky -- dare I say Dogbertian? --
attitude of the world's carmakers. But these aren't normal times.
There's a school of thought that if we use less fuel, we'll be
safer from terrorist threats.
I'm not convinced that oil is the problem. I'm pretty sure we could
fly over the Middle East and drop bags of money and they'd still
want to kill us for blocking the view. But I digress.
The point is that carmakers could easily make a fuel-efficient
hybrid car that looks great and doesn't cost more to manufacture
than an ugly one. However, thanks to marketing, that ain't gonna
happen.
And so, as I have often predicted, marketing will be the death of
us all. Our only hope is that our pollution kills the terrorists.
