Boycott the Olympics

[Dork Administrator]

Sometimes when you make a stand you have to go all the way.  Ever since the Olympics allowed professionals to compete, it's become a big American dick-waving festival.  Yeah, like the USA needs another method for kissing it's own ass.  

Ever since the Olympics were first put on pay-per-view, it's been one big stroke fest, and everybody and their fucking brother wants to get in on it.  But let's face it, the spirit of the Olympics has been lost to corporate America, and most people don't give a damn anyway.  Plus, I heard on the radio today that there are still a TON of tickets available, mostly because people don't want to deal with the security.  I mean, what the fuck is up with that?!?

And now NBC,  which has been frothing at the crotch ever since they were able to put the five-circle logo under the peacock, is cancelling some of the best TV programming of the young century.  Just when Friends and ER are getting good, they won't be back on TV for three weeks!  The NHL season is all fucked to hell, I already made that point in another post (Read it here).

Now, I love Hockey, and I will be missing out on some good games I know, but this year I've had it.  I'm boycotting the Olympics.  I won't watch a single second of the Olympics this year or any other, and I'd like you all to join me.  Of course, like any movement, there will be sacrifices.  For me, it means two weeks of hockey-free existence, and that's gonna SUCK.  Hockey is like breathing for me, and the months between June and September seem like an eternity.  But to shut it off for two weeks RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEASON!!!  It will be hard, but no one ever said protest was easy.

Here's what I want from the Olympics, and I refuse to patronize any aspect of the Olympics until these demands are met:

• Get rid of the professional athletes.  It is a stupid concept.  At one time I believed that the Olympics were meant for the best of each nation, and that could mean professionals, but now I see that it takes away from the purity of the events.
  
• Televise the Olympics on a neutral station, particularly PBS.  When you take away prime-time viewing, you just piss people off.  The people who would normally be watching Nova and Masterpiece Theater are used to having their programming interrupted anyway; by fund drives.
  
• Allow Olympic athletes to reap the rewards for their participation.  This means to allow the athletes to get paid for commercials where they endorse products, when they get that endorsement from the fact that they are Olympic athletes.  This may be seen by some as a cut on point one, but it is not.  Someone gets paid off of the Olympics, it may as well be those that are busting their asses to compete.
  
• Finally, get rid of some of the excess baggage where some competitions are concerned.  Use your head, dammit.  Synchronized swimming?  Trampofuckingline?!?  And curling, what is up with that?  Might as well bring in the Caber toss and the stone carry.  Sheesh.
  

So to the Olympic Committee, I say, I will not watch a single second of your competition, nor read a single word of news based on your competition, until these four simple demands are met.  And all who stand with me I am proud to call you my brothers and sisters.

[jelly belly girl]

i boycott the olympics as well

[Dork Administrator]

Boycotting the Olympics doesn't end with just not watching the events, not reading about them in the paper, or not listening to them on the radio (is that even possible?)  Boycotting the Olympics means boycotting the sponsors of the Olympics as well.  The following list of corporate sponsors should feel the wrath of the disillusioned as well:

NBC
MSN
Qwest
GE
Chevrolet
Xerox
Office Depot
Hallmark
McDonald's
Kleenex
Universal Pictures

Walk tall, fellow boycotters.  Semper Fidelis!

[jelly belly girl]

that's an interesting list...

if we are boycotting, do we boycott forever or just during the olympics? i mean, friends is on NBC, hallmark has cool shit, and mcdonalds.. well, actually, i can live without [glow=brown,2,300]diarhea[/glow]...

so?

[Dork Administrator]

Just during the Olympics should be enough.  Imagine if everybody stopped patronizing those companies for two weeks?  That's a lot of revenue!  I promise, we'll be more organized for 2004!

McDonald's you can boycott all year 'round, because a. their food gives you the whistling shits, and b. they just get on my nerves sometimes.

[The Vonz]

And c. Burger King has better fries, as well as a wider variety, and they're cheaper

Speaking of fast food, stupid KFC.. they're corn on the cobb is too good, I can't help but get it, and now I have corn lumps in my shit. It's disgusting.

[Bret Walker]

You have to learn to chew, chew your food before you swallow it.  Then you don't get whole corn kernels in your shit.  Your stomach can't do it all, you know; the digestive process starts in your mouth.

Chew.

[jelly belly girl]

actually, the cellulose like casing on corn helps to give the illusion that you are chewing it all the way, which leads to the whole kernals of corn in your shit.

[Bret Walker]

Thank you, Mr. Wizard.  Just boycott the Olympics and let's not get into the semantics, Hmm?  We'll talk corn kernels in shit in another thread. ;D

[Bret Walker]

I figured I'd resurrect this topic since the Olympic committee still has done NOTHING to meet our demands. So just so you know, I'm still boycotting the Olympics and will continue to do so until ALL our demands are met.

[Bret Walker]

Remember when no one wanted to boycott the Olympics with us? Now everyone does. Trendy fucks.

I STARTED THIS SHIT, DAMMIT!